What I'd Tell My 1990 Self (Part 2)

You are just starting your freshman in high school, but your wife-to-be is just starting her freshman year of college.  Well played, young Brian.

Stop trying to make your main goal in life trying to hit a high percentage of the 10 Commandments or trying to be better than other people.  Just allow the Holy Spirit to live through you, you know, that whole Galatians thing.

Beware of Jacob Lytle. He's like a human Cheshire Cat.  Sure, he's got that big smile and it seems like he's helping you, but he's really just trying to get your head taken off. 


Junior year, don't try to learn how to drive a stick on the same day as the prom, because it is really embarrassing to be sitting in front of your date's house, trying unsuccessfully to put your dad's car into reverse, and then having the car die about 5 times that night, making you late everywhere (seriously, nothing happened!).  By the way, Jacob Lytle, I'm taking your future-wife-who-you-don't-really-know-too-well-at-this-point to the prom. So there. (But seriously, nothing happened.  Our future wives become friends and everything.)

Actually, go ahead and try to learn how to drive a stick with your dad.  It makes for a good embarrassing story with the car dying on the highway and all.  Plus, you've only got 19 years left with your dad.  Make them count.

Ask teachers and coaches what it will take to be successful in their class and on their team.  Nobody denies you're trying really hard, but its better to try hard in the right direction.

In about a month, your friend Tim is going to make what he thinks is a sucker bet with you, but you correctly pick the biggest upset in World Series history, with the upstart Reds not only beating but sweeping the heavily favored, roided-up, defending World Series Champ Oakland A's.  Tim will then deny the bet was official. He still owes you $4.  But not to worry- 20 years later another group of upstart Reds will sweep the heavily favored, roided-up, defending World Series Champ Yankees.

Just know that even though you're repeatedly getting turned down for dates right now, some day you're going to marry a tall, gorgeous, blonde haired, blue-eyed southern California girl who really loves you.  Not bad for an Indiana farm boy.

What I'd Tell My 1990 Self (Part 1)

I recently read an article where the writer put down what he'd tell his 1990 self.  Here is my take (Part 1).

Hello, 1990 Brian.  Here are some things you should know:

Just because a girl looks like another girl you want to go out with, it doesn't mean its a good idea to go out on a date with her.

In 20 years you still won't care that much about what car you'll drive, just that you have one.

Remembering Our Baby Jonathan

We lost our son-to-be Jonathan a few weeks ago.  I was having dinner with a group of friends with whom I'd just gone on a mission trip to Haiti, when Krista texted me that she wanted me to come home a little early because something had come up. I got home, and she said that she couldn't find the baby's heartbeat with the home doppler she had.  The next morning we went in to the doctor's office, and we were happy to see the heart beat.  And then we didn't see it.  And then we did see the heart beat again, but faintly.  The doctor said we should go right over to the high-risk OB.  An hour later we were in his office, with the tech running the ultrasound.  After about 30 seconds, the tech stood up and excused herself to get the doctor, which reenacted the scene from about 6 years ago when we lost Zoe.  She couldn't find the heartbeat, so she was going to get the doctor to tell us we'd lost the baby.  That really sucked.

The baby was big enough that we still had to deliver him. We tried getting into the hospital that day, but since most c-sections are planned for Tuesdays, trying to get into a hospital on a Tuesday or Wednesday for a non-emergency delivery is just about impossible. We were able to get in on Thursday at 7AM.  Krista still had to do an epidural and all the other things that go along with a delivery.  About 10 hours later, our little boy was born.  The nurse cleaned him up and we were both able to hold him.  We have three songs we sing to our girls just about every night, Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves the Little Children, and a little French lullaby.  We wanted to sing to him at least once before we gave him back.

The funny thing is that babies at that stage don't have all the baby fat but they do have the facial bone structure, so they almost look like little adults, or, to be a bit crass but descriptive, about the same size and weight as action figures.  I held him and saw that he had the Lord 'booty booty butt' chin, as we call it, and said to myself, "Wow, am I making this up, or does he look like my dad?".  A few seconds later, Krista said, "He looks like your dad!"

We named him Jonathan Andrew Lord.  Krista's dad's name is John, I really like David's friend Jonathan from the Bible, and both Jonathan and Andrew are family names.  Krista was adamant that it not be a city name.  It wasn't intended at the time, but I think that works out really well.  Brooklyn and Sydney were made to be part of this world-at least for a time- and you can't get more temporal than city names.  Zoe Renae ("Life, Reborn") and Jonathan Andrew ("God has given Man, or Manly") are much more spiritually focused, which makes sense, as they skipped earth and were made for heaven.

One of the things we struggled with a bit with Zoe is that we miss her, but if she had been, our daughter Brooklyn wouldn't have been.  I'd mentioned Jonathan was one of my favorite men in the Bible, and that's because he was such a great friend and the very definition of personal sacrifice.  He knew that David should be king, but since he, Jonathan, was the heir to the throne, he would have to die in order for David to become king.  And even knowing that full well, Jonathan still did everything he could in order to help and protect David.  Its impossible to know God's plan, but if we were to get pregnant again soon, it would mean that we couldn't have had both Jonathan and another baby, that again another Jonathan made way for someone else.

I thought it was good that we were able to be with him at the end, so to speak, to see his last few heartbeats. And after three girls, we were able to have a boy.  There are some things we do miss, little coincidences that you see and hope for and think "Oh, that will be cool," but now are lost.  My dad passed away on January 15, 2010 and Jonathan was due to be born in January 2011- like one person in the family was lost, but another came in almost exactly a year later.  Also, Krista's sister's due date was within just a couple days of hers, and we were excited about these two cousins being great friends like their older siblings are.

But there are some coincidences that are good.  As I mentioned, my dad passed away in January, and this August was feeling a little rough for me, as my dad always made it a point to come down to visit us for my birthday in mid-August.  But it was neat that a 'little Steve' still showed up for me. Plus, Jonathan, Brooklyn and I all have birthdays within 2 weeks.

This has definitely been a sad time, but I'm not mad in the least.  I don't think 'why me?' or 'why us?'.  This is part of our story, of what makes us who we are.  I still think I live a charmed life, I'm incredibly blessed, and that God's plan is perfect.  I do know His plan is beyond me, but that my life is His to use how he wants to.  I'm blessed.

Dudes who can jump

This has absolutely nothing to do with me or Haiti, just very entertaining!

The Haiti Trip- Part 1

I was in charge of taking video for our week long trip to build a widow's house in Haiti this past week.  Here are the first three- "The Long Walk", which gives you a good idea of what it was like just to get the materials down there.  "The Nehemiah Nine"- our nine member team, named after Nehemiah, who rebuilt the walls in Jerusalem.  And finally, sort of a promo video I put together for The Bethel Guest House, a great facility for mission teams, who didn't have any video up of their place.  Enjoy!


"The Long Walk"


"The Nehemiah Nine"


"Bethel Guest House Video Tour"

Why I'm Scared To Go To Haiti

For the most part, I'm very excited to be going, but part of me is afraid. So why am I scared to go to Haiti?  Its not really the 'normal' stuff.  I've had several friends who've gone and come back unharmed, mainly by always staying in groups, staying with your guide/interpreter, and not going out at night.  Don't drink the water.  Wear sunscreen and plenty of bug spray. Play nice.

I am certainly going to be out of my comfort zone. Heck, I'll be working at a Habitat for Humanity building site in Nashville and be uncomfortable, just because I don't know what to do, and now I'm doing the same thing, just in Haiti. (I had to Google 'sawzall' and 'rebar' since I didn't know what they were.)  I'm also going to try to be a translator in training for a dialect (Creole) of a language (French) in which I'm only moderately fluent.  However, I more dread than fear the construction aspect, and I'm actually pretty excited about the translator possibilities, although I know I'm going to mess up a good bit.

What scares me are the kids.  Years ago, and what really got me started in having a 'missionary' outlook, so to speak, was a baby crying.  I was holding our little baby daughter Brooklyn, who was only a few months old at the time, and she wouldn't stop crying.  I was going through my mental checklist- Fed? Check.  Diaper changed?  Check. Burped?  Check.  Despite doing everything right, she wouldn't stop crying.  And then finally, she did.  But it hit me that somewhere out there, a mom or a dad was holding their little baby girl, and she wouldn't stop crying.  They love their child just as much as I love mine, but they can't feed her, they can't clothe her, they can't wrap her in a warm blanket.  They can't take her to the doctor to help her get better.  They just have to hold their sick, tired, hungry little girl and hope she feels better, hope she stops crying, but hopefully not for the last time.  And there are some kids that don't even have parents to hold them.  I'm also reminded of our trip to the ER this past February.

And that's what scares me, the realization that I'm so small and helpless and I can't fix it like I want to.  I know mentally that God is huge, and that He's made for doing miracles and changing lives, but I have to get my heart there as well.

Going Out To Haiti!

hI'm very excited to be going to Haiti at the end of July.  I'll write more soon, but in short, I'm going with a TPC team to do construction and/or demolition (we'll find out which when we get there).  I'm also working on my French and learning some Creole as well, and hope to be able to lend some translating ability as well.

Here (the red dot) is where we'll be working.

Here is where we'll be in relation to the US.  For those not familiar, Nashville is closer to Haiti than it is to California.